I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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