It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
