She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
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