I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
