so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
