her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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