i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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