dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
