there was a trapeze. enough said
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
