the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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