This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
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