My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
