Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize