So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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