I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
