Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
