After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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