She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
