He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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