i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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