the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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