I think im going to throw up on grandma
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
