Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
