is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
