Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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