having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
