What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Randomize