You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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