I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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