brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
