How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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