What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
