proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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