I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
