We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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