I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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