So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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