i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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