she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My vagina is very pro this idea
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize