Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Randomize