Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
is wine microwaveable?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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