Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
