i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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