Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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