K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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