Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
