normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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