And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
