I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As shirtless as possible
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
