I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
