i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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