Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
