let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
