im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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