guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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