My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
