discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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