worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
tell me about the fingering
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