If i come over, it means nothing
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
