I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
