while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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