ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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