I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
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it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize