Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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