Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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