He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
