I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
