I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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