do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Omg I joined a choir last night...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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