WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
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So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
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i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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